Post by Itamiku on Jan 30, 2010 7:23:29 GMT 1
I know, I'm not a mod, I just see some things off the bat that I know they'll comment on:
1. Absolutely positively NO eye powers
2. smaller images please.
3. limit your powers. such as: 'in one thread, he can use said ability for x amount of posts for y damage/benefits.' or 'in one thread, he can use this power x amount of times for y damage/benefits'. While limiting how far you can see with 10 meter 360 vision is a good thing, it's still OPed if you're allowed this, a 75% increase in all attributes, and a near instant communication with your brain and muscles at all times, I recommend limiting these powers reasonably time-wise.
4. No Passive Increases to Strength and Speed, all enhances have a time limit as each powered attack has a use limit. (instead of saying: same restrictions as cero, just put the number, it makes it so people don't have to check your character thread then check the Hollow thread.)
5. Attacks moving the speed of light is a no-no. Attacks must be dodge able and opponents must have time to react.
6. while burning the wound may be allowed, and I do like the idea, I think this should only stall regeneration seeing as you're rank 8. Making it so the enemy has to leave the thread to heal is a little much. Remember, you're still developing your powers at this stage.
7. you may not pierce the hierro of any hollow under the rank of 10th espada while being a rank 8. if you are a rank 8 using this on a rank 8, depending on each of your abilities, you may or may not pierce its defenses. A rank 9 cannot pierce a rank 13's defenses, you simply don't have enough control over your reiatsu. And a rank 11 cannot pierce a rank 18's armor, no.
8. I'm positive in this, after reviewing the change of definition in Sprint to Blitzen. The advent channels Reiatsu to one's legs running similarly to a Shinigami's Shunpo or a Hollow's Sonido. Thus, your Awai Ryoko is redundant and unneeded. I'd suggest picking another ability.
and I see some things they might not comment on:
1. you're starting off as an advent with 360 vision up to 10 meters, reflexes beyond human, and a brain that works faster than any being all as a passive ability. this, in my opinion, is a no-no.
2. No controlling opponent's Light Based attacks. You aren't the first to control light, and Shinigami, though not specializing in light, can control it to the extent to form the attack, you cannot dissolve an attack they created nor steer it in any way. They have an equal amount of power over their own attacks as you have on yours.
3. One ability at a time, and start it out low to show you have no control over your powers. You have upgrades to use for a reason, you can't start out as god you know, that only works in Manga and only when the main character has an extensive history of training and using said powers.
and then I see things I'm unsure of in your description:
1. your cero skill, I'm assuming, looks something like this?
50 is average, 75 is high, and 100 is very high.
You might want to just say that rather than say the 'equivalent' of each, seeing as a Gran Ray Cero doesn't have a limit... it just says: four times greater than a cero.
imo, your powers are a bankai alone without even counting your bankai in their current state, putting you up at near god status, I personally fail to see where you start out as a beginner with your powers. Remember, a captain is rank 15. A lieutenant is rank 10. Rank 5 for seats 9-3. Transcendence is the equivalent of a bankai. If you keep this in mind while creating your powers and gain one power at a time through either upgrades or unlocking the next advent stage I think it'll be more acceptable. You can take my word for it or have a mod check it. I don't claim to be completely right...
but I do claim to have 1/2 an idea of what I'm talking about
if you'd like to check what other profiles have been accepted, feel free to take a gander Here!!!!! I think you'll see what I'm talking about.
1. Absolutely positively NO eye powers
2. smaller images please.
3. limit your powers. such as: 'in one thread, he can use said ability for x amount of posts for y damage/benefits.' or 'in one thread, he can use this power x amount of times for y damage/benefits'. While limiting how far you can see with 10 meter 360 vision is a good thing, it's still OPed if you're allowed this, a 75% increase in all attributes, and a near instant communication with your brain and muscles at all times, I recommend limiting these powers reasonably time-wise.
4. No Passive Increases to Strength and Speed, all enhances have a time limit as each powered attack has a use limit. (instead of saying: same restrictions as cero, just put the number, it makes it so people don't have to check your character thread then check the Hollow thread.)
5. Attacks moving the speed of light is a no-no. Attacks must be dodge able and opponents must have time to react.
6. while burning the wound may be allowed, and I do like the idea, I think this should only stall regeneration seeing as you're rank 8. Making it so the enemy has to leave the thread to heal is a little much. Remember, you're still developing your powers at this stage.
7. you may not pierce the hierro of any hollow under the rank of 10th espada while being a rank 8. if you are a rank 8 using this on a rank 8, depending on each of your abilities, you may or may not pierce its defenses. A rank 9 cannot pierce a rank 13's defenses, you simply don't have enough control over your reiatsu. And a rank 11 cannot pierce a rank 18's armor, no.
8. I'm positive in this, after reviewing the change of definition in Sprint to Blitzen. The advent channels Reiatsu to one's legs running similarly to a Shinigami's Shunpo or a Hollow's Sonido. Thus, your Awai Ryoko is redundant and unneeded. I'd suggest picking another ability.
and I see some things they might not comment on:
1. you're starting off as an advent with 360 vision up to 10 meters, reflexes beyond human, and a brain that works faster than any being all as a passive ability. this, in my opinion, is a no-no.
2. No controlling opponent's Light Based attacks. You aren't the first to control light, and Shinigami, though not specializing in light, can control it to the extent to form the attack, you cannot dissolve an attack they created nor steer it in any way. They have an equal amount of power over their own attacks as you have on yours.
3. One ability at a time, and start it out low to show you have no control over your powers. You have upgrades to use for a reason, you can't start out as god you know, that only works in Manga and only when the main character has an extensive history of training and using said powers.
and then I see things I'm unsure of in your description:
1. your cero skill, I'm assuming, looks something like this?
50 is average, 75 is high, and 100 is very high.
You might want to just say that rather than say the 'equivalent' of each, seeing as a Gran Ray Cero doesn't have a limit... it just says: four times greater than a cero.
imo, your powers are a bankai alone without even counting your bankai in their current state, putting you up at near god status, I personally fail to see where you start out as a beginner with your powers. Remember, a captain is rank 15. A lieutenant is rank 10. Rank 5 for seats 9-3. Transcendence is the equivalent of a bankai. If you keep this in mind while creating your powers and gain one power at a time through either upgrades or unlocking the next advent stage I think it'll be more acceptable. You can take my word for it or have a mod check it. I don't claim to be completely right...
but I do claim to have 1/2 an idea of what I'm talking about
if you'd like to check what other profiles have been accepted, feel free to take a gander Here!!!!! I think you'll see what I'm talking about.
